Freak
by ItsaboutPJO
Summary: A story that explores Nico's feelings about himself and others. Contains some sad material, so if you don't like that kind of stuff, don't read this. Rated T for language.


I was falling. The thunderous footsteps beating above me like a heartbeat. Slowly the bright green world around me disappeared and I was left in utter darkness. I hit the ground with a hard 'thump,' which knocked the wind out of me. I exhaled a sharp breath and darted my eyes every which direction, looking for a way out, but all that was there was a ragged stone wall. I threw myself against it hoping that it would somehow crumble under the impact. No such luck. It just left me with a couple bleeding scrapes on my chin and arms. Bright red liquid rushed out of me like an overflowing well. I yelled for help, only to hear no response. Suddenly a low growl echoed behind me. I quickly turned around and unsheathed my stygian iron sword. A monster emerged from the shadows, its fangs dripping with hissing foam. Its head was like an oversized Doberman, yet its body was a grizzly bear. It lunged at me, snapping its fangs. I swung my sword at its head, only to have it shatter against its furry ear. A weight crashed into my chest and suddenly I was on my back with an oversized dog-bear on top of me.

"Hello little hero," The monster hissed into my ear, my eyes widened. "You do know why he threw you into the pit don't you?" I squeezed my eyes shut, remembering the events that had taken place before. I was interrupted before I could start my answer. "It's because you're a fag. The gay son of Hades," The monster laughed evilly. "Now, cock lover, it's time that you got the punishment that you deserved," Howled the monster as it bit into my shoulder. Hot lead spread through my whole body and I let out a scream. But it wasn't my voice. It was Bianca's. I looked to the side only to see my sister, her form flickering blue.

"How does it feel Nico, to be a fag? I would imagine painful. Give him another one Siferus," Mocked Bianca. The monster then raked his claws down my chest, cutting through my pale skin. I screamed once again and writhed in pain under Siferus. Blood soaked through my shirt in my shoulder and my chest. I felt my heartbeat slow and my vision became blurry. "You deserve to die Nico, you freak!`` Screeched Bianca, and slowly my vision dimmed, until all I could see was the monster smirking on top of me. And then I woke up. My bed creaked loudly as I bolted upright, salty tears streaming down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away with the backs of my hands and turned on the lamp behind me.

``You`re such a pervert!`` Percy had shouted as he punched me in the stomach. ``How could you ever think that I would EVER be a gay freak like you?`` Percy shoved me backwards and I fell onto my side, dust covering my face. I looked to the side and noticed the pit beside me. It looked endless. Percy seemed to notice the pit as while and gave me devilish smile. ``Are you going to be a good little fag boy and throw yourself in there yourself or should I make you?`` Before I could respond, Percy threw me in, my heart quickening as I felt the drop in my stomach.

This always happened when I visited Camp Half Blood. I would always have some sort of nightmare, which was one of the reasons I didn't like to stick around there a whole lot. I was scared to go to sleep when the time came. By this point, I was completely awake. I quickly changed out of my pajamas and into my black jeans, shirt and aviator jacket and walked into the dark night. As I walked further away from camp, Percy and Bianca`s voices echoed in my head. Words like, ``Freak,`` and ``Fag,`` were yelled the loudest.

``Maybe they`re right,`` I thought. ``I am a freak. Maybe I deserve to die.`` I knew that the nightmares were a side effect of visiting tartarus, and that it was just monsters manipulating my dreams, but that didn`t stop them from being completely and utterly realistic, down to the pain. Each slice and dice I received in my dreams felt as terrible as they would in real life. At that point, my limbs had been amputated so many times that the pain had dulled. And all the injuries were omitted for the same reason. My sexuality. MY FUCKING SEXUALITY. I had been called a cock sucker, a dick worshipper, a fag, a shemale, freak, and worse.

``WHY COULDN`T I BE FUCKING NORMAL LIKE EVERYONE ELSE,`` I yelled at myself as I collapsed onto my knees and buried my face into my hands. I just wanted all of the torture to end, the monsters to stop manipulating my dreams and messing with my thoughts. And most of all I wanted my crush on Percy to be non-existent. I just wanted to be at least normal in that aspect. Everyone would hate me if I revealed my true feelings.

I hated myself, so why wouldn`t they?

**So this story was a little bit out of the ordinary for me, but I wanted one story of Nico just thinking about his feelings, sharing how he feels about them and himself. And I`m also REALLY sorry if I offended anyone with the language that I used. I do not feel that these words should ever be used against somebody, (Or yourself for that matter) they are extremely offensive and oppressive. I only used them to articulate how Nico was feeling.**


End file.
